Sober Friend
by BlackRosa713
Summary: See, you need a designated driver. EriFef fluff. Rated for drug use.


Sober Friend  
"I'm a party like there's no tomorrow!" Feferi sang.  
"Fef, I'm fairly sure there's going to be a tomorrow." Eridan said.  
"I don't care, I'm gonna get wasted tonight!" Feferi cried out. She did a little turn in her stilettos and tripped a bit. Eridan caught he before she hit the ground.  
"Be careful! I am not taking you to the hospital because you fell before you got drunk. Besides, those shoes look like you kill someone." Eridan said admonishly.  
"They're called stilettos, there's a type of knife called a stiletto." Feferi said showing off her black heels.  
"How do you know that?" Eridan said a little scared.  
"Kanaya told me." Feferi remarked simply.  
Mental note: Stay away from Kan.  
Feferi walked all the way to the club she and her friends were meeting up at. She was planning on getting drunk out of her mind, so she brought Eridan. After all what are morails for?  
Of course Eridan could give you a very different opinion of morailigence, but that didn't matter in Feferi's mind. Morails are suppose to be there for each other, especially when could make the worst decision of your life when you're drunk. Like filling a bucket with a stranger. Do you know how many diseases you could get?!  
In the club Aradia, Nepeta, Kanaya, Terezi, and Vriska were all waiting for Feferi.  
"Girl! We've been for you, where have you been?" Vriska asked coming up to hug Feferi.  
"Getting ready, and getting him out the door." Feferi said nodding toward Eridan.  
"Why's he here?" Aradia asked.  
"Sober friend. Someone has to walk me to my hive." Feferi replied.  
"Oh, I know that is. I've got one too." Nepeta said pointing at her morail Equius at the bar.  
"What's he doing?" Feferi asked craning her head to get a good glimpse of Equius.  
"Trying to get some milk, I doubt he will though." Nepeta said.  
"Pfft, sober friend. I don't need one of those. I can drink all the booze I want and still be able to get to my hive. In a straight line." Vriska bragged.  
"I'm assuming your hive is a dumpster." Kanaya said pointedly.  
The girls laughed hysterically. Vriska glared at them.  
"Vriska, you know I'm joking right? Don't take things so seriously!" Kanaya exclaimed.  
"I'm going to go drink now to forget that." Vriska said heading to the bar. The ladies followed her and ordered their drinks.  
"Can I get a Sex On The Beach?" Feferi asked.  
Sex on the beach? Eridan could give Fef that without being ridiculously overpriced.  
"Uh, Fef, what's a Sex On The Beach?" Eridan asked half expecting a seadweller prostitute to come out.  
"Oh! It's a drink, it's really fruity and tropical. No one really has sex on a beach." Feferi replied.  
Well, if you drink too many of those you could end up fucking someone on a sandy coastline.  
Wait, if that's true then Fef drink as many as you can. ERIDAN AMPORA GONNA GET LUCKY TONIGHT!  
The ladies milled around the bar gossiping and ordering more drinks. Occasionally the girls would flirt with boys and get free drinks. Damn, if it was that easy to get a drink then why did they even buy any?  
"This is so boring." Eridan said to Equius who was keeping a watchful eye on Nepeta.  
"It may be but it keeps Nepeta from doing something foolish like... Wait, is that? NEPETA DO NOT INHALE THAT! IT IS NOT FOR INHALATION!" Equius yelled as he ran after his morail from doing a line of catnip.  
There went Eridan's sober friend buddy.  
Eridan turned his attention to Feferi.  
And she was climbing on top of the bar.  
"Guys! I'm going to sing a song! It's "Part of Your World" from The Little Mermaid! Look at this stuff isn't it neat? Wouldn't you think-"  
"FEFERI PEIXES GET DOWN NOW!" Eridan commanded.  
"Aww, Eridan you're such a killjoy." Feferi whined. The people watching her complained, they wanted some music. As Feferi attempted to descend from the bar she slipped. Before she could crash into the floor Eridan caught her. Gently, he set her down and she wobbled on her stilettos.  
"You're drunk. We're leaving right now." Eridan said firmly.  
"Eridan I was drunk about thirty minutes ago, but you didn't take me back to my hive then." Feferi argued.  
"But you nearly died falling off a bar, so we're leaving." Eridan said.  
"Aww. Fine, one more drink." Feferi pleaded.  
Eridan sighed.  
"One more. Then we're leaving." Eridan relented.  
Feferi did a little cheer and wandered back to the bar.  
And she started drinking the syrups.  
"Okay Fef, time to go." Eridan said ushering Feferi to the door.  
"But I haven't finished my drink!" Feferi objected.  
"Fef you were drinking syrup." Eridan pointed out.  
"Okay, fine. But let me say goodbye to everyone!" She said.  
Eridan turned her around.  
"Say 'bye.'" He said.  
"Bye!" Feferi cried to the entire club.  
Fifty people said bye back.  
It was pitch black and Feferi and Eridan walked back to the ocean. Feferi's heels clicked along and Eridan prayed her heels would not attract a mugger. Feferi grabbed Eridan's hand and skipped along, well as well as a drunk person could skip. She sang parts of The Little Mermaid.  
"Shlalala, my oh my, look like the boy too shy, ain't gonna kiss the girl!" Feferi sang.  
Jesus, when she was drunk she sounded the fricking seagull. Scuttle? Oh, who cared? But what did she mean singing the song? Did she want Eridan to kiss her? Freudian slip? Oh, Eridan hoped so.  
"Fef, I-"  
BANG. On the pavement.  
"Feferi!"  
He looked at Feferi, her eyes were closed.  
"Fef! Wake up!" Eridan said shaking her gently.  
No response. Well, she was still breathing. She just passed out. Eridan sighed, he hefted her up and carried her home. Somehow the trip back was a lot longer. Could be the drunk troll Eridan was carrying in his arms. Ah, the requited love of sober friends. Making sure you didn't do stupid shit, carrying you home when you passed out in the street, and probably the next morning holding your hair as you threw up and caring for their hungover self. Oh joy.  
At last they reached Feferi's hive, Eridan tried open the door and after a few tries with Feferi in his arms he manages to unlock it and push it open the door with his back. He walked up the stairs, which is not easy when your carrying someone,  
Eridan prayed he wouldn't drop Feferi and have them tumble down the stairs together. I warned you about the stairs bro.  
At the top of the stairs Feferi's room stood with the door ajar. Hooray! No more struggling with stupid doors! What was this, some RPG?  
In the room it was dimly lit with biolumininecencent creatures, Feferi's idea of a night light. She really didn't need them, but the green and blue lights were soothing. Carefully, Eridan set Feferi down on her bed. Her hair was mess and an her face. Eridan tucked her hair behind her fin. Feferi looked like a little water nymph, so delicate and beautiful. Eridan moved closer to her face to kiss Feferi, but he decided against it. What would this kiss mean to any of them if Feferi was essentially comatose. Eridan walked away and was halfway out the door when someone called for him.  
"Eridan." They called weakly.  
Feferi.  
"Yes Fef?" He asked his hand on the door, ready to leave.  
"Stay with me." She begged.  
Eridan smiled.  
"Of course." He replied.  
He took off his cape and scarf and set it on Feferi's nightstand. Eridan climbed into her bed and settled in. He tucked Feferi in.  
"No sex." She said tiredly.  
"Alright."  
Then Feferi grabbed Eridan pulled him closer to her.  
"Good night sweet Prince." Feferi murmured.  
"Good night" Eridan replied.


End file.
